strangelyobsessedwithstuff:

vialsofbrightforgettingpowders:

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD
THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS

YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN
SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.

NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE.
NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING

NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE

GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED

IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGESthanks for the tip karkat

strangelyobsessedwithstuff:

vialsofbrightforgettingpowders:

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD

THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS

YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN

SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.

NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE.

NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING

NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE

GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED

IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGES
thanks for the tip karkat

(Source: sliceofbri, via pizza)

— 9 hours ago with 516685 notes

thesmellofgreen:

laughterkey:

milesofastora:

vinyasanya:

its never not a good time for this video

…..you…..you found it

Classic

can you believe there are people who haven’t seen this video before

(Source: nicklugo, via callmejavii)

— 11 hours ago with 377139 notes

nasturbate:

prosetitute:

I’M DYING

STOP HARASSING YOUR PARENTS but also keep doing it because i just laughed so hard my soul escaped my body

(Source: epic-vines, via arent-i-just-pathetic)

— 11 hours ago with 305776 notes

mamasita-1696:

byrongraffiti:

thetoolazytothinkupacoolnameblog:

better-than-kanye-bitchh:

this is my favorite video

Lol I’m done. She looking damn good here like

Bye Sir!

Lmfaooo

(via flightlesslexxii)

— 11 hours ago with 53420 notes
quadguyin-china:

salt-in-my-hair-and-heart:

liteskint:

gigaguess:

Oh.
My.
God.

B Y E

Am I allowed to tell this joke at parties??

She is so satisfied with that joke.

quadguyin-china:

salt-in-my-hair-and-heart:

liteskint:

gigaguess:

Oh.

My.

God.

B Y E

Am I allowed to tell this joke at parties??

She is so satisfied with that joke.

(Source: acidocasualidad, via undaunted-child)

— 13 hours ago with 75203 notes

illckr:

homealonethree:

AMERICANS: name every single canadian province

Hoenn Johto Kanto Sinnoh Unova Kalos

(via princesschigusa)

— 13 hours ago with 19578 notes

cecilandcarlosbaldwin:

I LOVE CATCHING PEOPLE SMILING AT THEIR PHONES BECAUSE IS IT A CUTE TEXT?? IS IT PORN???? WHO KNOWS BUT I’M GLAD YOU’RE HAPPY FRIEND

(Source: cutetier, via sniffing)

— 13 hours ago with 733677 notes
megamintcat:

ryansealcrest:

does it come with butter pillows

is anyone reading that description 

megamintcat:

ryansealcrest:

does it come with butter pillows

is anyone reading that description 

(via love-adamtuttle)

— 13 hours ago with 97601 notes
blackbarmitzvahs:

rebelred-in-boots:

shedancesatmidnight:

gehenna:

mendox:

leaaves:

preah:

durational:

luxex:

i feel as if this symbolizes the fact that shes under so much stress to be beautiful

or shes stoned as fuck

Or she stabbed herself in the eye with the brush

Or she’s crying because for once she got the volume her mascara brand promised her

lol or maybe its just a picture with cool contrast meant to give off an eerie and creepy vibe. 

Or she’s turning into the black swan

Or maybe she’s born with it

Or maybe it’s Maybelline

You guys are all fucked 

blackbarmitzvahs:

rebelred-in-boots:

shedancesatmidnight:

gehenna:

mendox:

leaaves:

preah:

durational:

luxex:

i feel as if this symbolizes the fact that shes under so much stress to be beautiful

or shes stoned as fuck

Or she stabbed herself in the eye with the brush

Or she’s crying because for once she got the volume her mascara brand promised her

lol or maybe its just a picture with cool contrast meant to give off an eerie and creepy vibe. 

Or she’s turning into the black swan

Or maybe she’s born with it

Or maybe it’s Maybelline

You guys are all fucked 

(Source: longtonguedbrain, via heatherbishopus)

— 13 hours ago with 506796 notes